


Goodbyes Never Felt So Heartbreaking Before

by TLK



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-12 12:46:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7935079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TLK/pseuds/TLK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're seeing someone?"</p><p>The question was nothing but a whisper, the brunette doubting that the blonde even heard it. But judging by the way the silence replaced the excited chatter, hands frozen in mid animation of her story telling, the brunette chanced a glance at her friend.</p><p>Best friend, she reminded herself.</p><p>The blonde's face was devoid of color, mouth parted open in surprise, the realization dawning on her.</p><p>"Oh.. Shit.. Did I not-"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Goodbyes Never Felt So Heartbreaking Before

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone. New Fanfiction writer. I suck at it but I always wanted to try writing because I just have a lot of stories I want to share. Now more than ever with these amazing characters from The 100.
> 
> Anywho. 
> 
> All unbeta-ed because my beta reader has died on me and I guess I'm alone now. So, all the mistakes are mine. Feel free to be harsh. All criticisms and comments welcome. 
> 
> Thank you for reading my story.
> 
> Feel free to yell at me at:
> 
> tumblr: the-TLK  
> twitter: SimplyTLK

"Oh! That reminds me," came Clarke's sudden outburst.

Lexa hums a reply, waiting for what the blonde had to say.

"So, I went on a date yesterday with this girl I met and the most ridiculous thing happened!"

Lexa's fingers paused in mid-text to Anya as a cold chill ran down her spine. 

The blonde was oblivious, of course. 

"-and then, out of nowhere, this-"

Lexa knew better than to be hurt upon hearing Clarke dating. They weren't dating. But it did hurt. She also knew better to keep her mouth shut and not comment on it, allowing the blonde to continue the conversation as if her slip up was nothing big. 

Lexa has never been the type to shut the fuck up at the right time either.

"You're seeing someone?"

The question was nothing but a whisper, the brunette doubting that the blonde even heard it. But judging by the way the silence replaced the excited chatter, hands frozen in mid animation of her story telling, the brunette chanced a glance at her friend.

 _Best friend,_ she reminded herself.

The blonde's face was devoid of color, mouth parted open in surprise, the realization dawning on her.

"Oh.. Shit.. Did I not-"

"-It's fine," Lexa said as calmly as she can but there was still a hint of bite into it, forcing her fingers to continue the text she was writing to Anya.

"Lexa, I-"

Lexa shook her head to silence the blonde's guilty words before they even escaped, knowing that if Lexa listened to them, it will just do more damage than good. After all, she had no right to feel betrayed. Clarke was never hers in the first. At least, not anymore..

"So," Lexa started while clearing her throat, putting her phone down to give her full attention to the blonde, trying to pass off a thin line as a small smile, "then what happened?"

The blonde didn't say anything, merely staring at the brunette now, studying her.

"I'm so-" 

A knock on their shared apartment door stopped Clarke's word and Lexa took the opportunity to stand up, grab her keys, wallet, and coat on the way to the front door.

"I might be out late. Don't wait up," Lexa rushed out just as she opened the door to see her sister Anya looking like a bad ass in her tight jeans, favorite boots, band shirt, and leather jacket.

Lexa smiles at her sister and they briefly hug before stepping out of her apartment. She throws the blonde a look and a light shrug.

"You know how Anya gets when she wants some sisterly bonding time. Pizza and movie tomorrow, yeah? Goodbye Clarke."

Lexa was gone before Clarke can even register the brunette's words, the door closing silently behind her. This isn't the first time she's been left alone by herself. Far from it. Yet somehow, the blonde never felt more alone than she did now.

Goodbyes never felt so heartbreaking before.


	2. Silence Has Never Been So Deafening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I'm sorry," the words were out from Lexa's lips before she could stop them._
> 
> _Silence once again blanketed the two women, neither saying anything._
> 
> _"I don't need an apology," the blonde started. "I want a god damn explanation. And if you can't do that without the antagonistic and **very** sarcastic remarks, then maybe you should wait until you get that stick out of your ass," and with that, the blonde turned to enter her bedroom, the door's silent closing far too loud for the brunette's ears._
> 
> _Silence has never been so deafening._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost, thank you all so much for the hits, the comments, the kudos, the bookmarks, and the pure love and show of support being given my way for this little story of mine. It would honestly be near impossible for me to continue writing without the support of you amazing readers. Thank you! Mwah!
> 
> Secondly, as I work on this multi chapter story, once in a while, I might write one or two shot stories when I'm suffering from writer's block for "Goodbye.." so keep an eye out for those as well.
> 
> Lastly, all un-beta and all mistakes are mine. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Lexa was in the middle of a long, and much needed, pull of her beer when she felt her thigh vibrate. She ignored it, thinking it was probably just one of her friends with their damn meme links and felt like sharing. But when the vibration continued, her forehead creased, mood slightly annoyed at the person calling her.

She placed her beer down on the bar table, tilting to the side as she reached into the pocket of her skinny jeans to fish out her phone. She glanced at the caller ID and the crease on her forehead deepened. She looked up at her sister who was looking right back at her, curiosity peaked.

"Does your phone have no charge?" Lexa asked the elder Woods.

Anya pulled her phone out from her leather jacket that hung at the back of her bar stool, checking it.

"I'm 87%," confirmed Anya.

"Do you have any missed calls?"

"Uh.. No but you're about to if you don't pick up your phone."

The edges of Lexa's mouth bowed in a down ward fashion, sliding her fingertip against the screen before pressing the device to her ear. She flinched and mentally kicked herself for putting the phone so damn close to her ear when she knew the brunette on the other line was just as loud as her blonde best friend.

"Hello Raven," Lexa said into the mouthpiece, settling her gaze on the moisture that's sliding down the side of her beer bottle.

She knew better than to meet her sister's gaze - knowing she'd find an intrigued expression.

"The 13th? Uh let me check.." Lexa borrowed her sister's phone, opening up the calendar, and checked what day the 13th was.

"What's going on?" Anya mouthed, poking her sister on the cheek.

"Stop it," Lexa mouthed back, swatting at Anya's poking finger.

"Lexa, you still there?" Raven yelled to ensure she can be heard.

"Yes! I'm here! No need to yell, Reyes!" The brunette said testily. "And yes, I'm free that day. What's up?"

The longer Lexa spent time on the call with Raven, the more her face started to turn sour. At first it was a look of uneasiness, followed by a look of trying to get out of something, before that face was replaced with annoyance and exasperation. Finally, she sighed loudly and said a curt _fine_ before hanging up, grumbling the entire time she put her phone away.

"I take it that the conversation wasn't a good one?" Anya teased, leaning back in her stool as she pulled a long swallow of her beer, eyes never leaving the younger Woods.

"She asked me if I was free on the 13th-"

"I gathered as much. Get to the juicy shit."

"-I'm getting there! Jeez! Patience!" Lexa growled, one hand threading through her wild curls, the other hand picking up her beer, wetting her throat with the bitter liquid.

Anya rolled her eyes at her sister's stalling, mentally counting to ten before taking the beer away from Lexa, ignoring the younger girl's outcries.

"What. Did. Raven. Want." Anya enunciated slowly as if Lexa was a child while settling a glare at her.

"She wanted- no, she *told* me that we're going camping on the 13-15."

At this, Anya raised a brow, arms crossing across her chest, waiting for Lexa to continue.

"I tried to get out of it-"

"Of course you did," Anya snorted, earning a glare and a hard smack on the thigh courtesy of the brunette.

"I don't need the sass, bitch," Lexa flatly said, eyes narrowing. "ANYWAYS!! Apparently, I get no say in it. Everyone is going."

"Who's everyone?"

"Clarke, Raven, Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, Jasper, Monty, me, and you."

Anya turned the new information in her head, knowing full well she's already saying yes, but prolonging her comments to give the younger girl false hope. Oh how Anya loves giving Lexa false hope. She snickered to herself but thankfully the other Woods was busy finishing her beer.

"You going?" Anya asked, driving the nail deeper.

"Like I have a choice?" Lexa retorted, sighing again.

"You can.. **not** go."

"Ha! That's funny. Very.. Funny."

Yet Lexa wasn't laughing, her face now in a scowl.

Anya did laugh though, further infuriating Lexa.

"Shut up!"

"Oh, come on, Lex! It will be fun!"

"For you!" Lexa spat, throwing a wad of used napkin at her sister.

Anya just kept laughing while effectively blocking the napkin from connecting.

"Why did she even call me?! Why not you?! She's your girlfriend!"

At this, Anya spat out her mouthful of beer, slightly doubling over from choking.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Who's my girlfriend?!" Anya wheezed, continuing to cough while beating her chest.

Lexa rolled her eyes.

"You're not three. You know who I mean."

"Last I check, I didn't have a girlfriend so you're gonna need to elaborate on who this girl is."

"Raven! Raven Reyes! God, you're infuriating!" Lexa cried out as she slammed her beer bottle on the table, now empty, hand shooting up to call the bartender over.

"Reyes?!" Anya scoffed before shaking her head, sarcastically laughing. "Don't start. There's nothing there."

It's Lexa's turn to snort out a sarcastic laugh.

"That's not what it looked like last-"

"Continue that sentence and you're paying for your own drinks-"

"I can pay for my-"

"-AND you're walking home," Anya finished, settling a cold glare to her sister.

For Lexa's sake, she simply shrugged and dropped the subject, ordering another round of beer and side dishes to snack on. And for the remainder of the night, the subject was indeed forgotten, on purpose - lest Anya decides to stand by her threat. Walking home more than ten miles home when you're wasted isn't exactly an appealing thought.

*****

It was nearing 4:30pm the following day by the time Lexa strolled through her shared apartment with Clarke, a large box of pizza on one hand, a bag from 7-11 on the other that had Arizona sweet tea inside. She kicked off her shoes by the door, hanging her keys on the key rack by the front door.

"Clarke? You home? I brought pizza, sweet tea, and Pitch Perfect 2. Clarke?"

If Lexa was paying attention, she would have known the reason for the blonde's silence. Except she wasn't paying attention and by the time that she was, it was purely on accident: she tripped over a red thong discarded on the floor.

Lexa looked down at the lacy material and raised a brow, dragging her eyes a little more ahead to find its matching lacy red bra, the cup a bit small for it to belong to the blonde. She continued to follow the trail of clothing without much thought and the moment the trail ended, she wished she hadn't followed. The trail led her straight to the ajar bedroom door of the blonde, naked and asleep, with an attract blonde tangled in her arms.

Lexa's heart constricted, air swiftly leaving her lungs, finding it extremely hard to breathe. Much less feel *anything* other than shock then hurt. She stood staring at the view ahead of her only to come to when there were movements coming from the bed. She hurriedly, yet quietly, closed the bedroom door and headed for the leaving room.

Dignity and self respect the only thing keeping her upright atop wobbly knees.

*****

It was another thirty minutes or so before Lexa heard the blonde's bedroom door opening, footsteps echoing against hardwood floors.

"Hey," the blonde greeted in her signature husky, sleep laden voice, smiling softly at the brunette.

"Hello Clarke," Lexa greeted in return, giving the blonde a glance and a nod before turning her gaze back to the marine documentary she was watching.

The silence was thick, neither one of them saying anything, just sharing the same space in a stiflingly awkward moment. But, like all things, this, too, must end. The blonde's companion decided it was time to make her appearance from Clarke's bedroom. Hair already in a ponytail, damp from her shower, dressed and ready to leave. She placed a light kiss to Clarke's cheek and said a soft bye to the brooding brunette perched on one side of the couch, before leaving to head back wherever the hell she came from.

"Your..friend left some of her personal effects here. Is she coming back to retrieve them at another time when I'm not around or is she leaving them here for next time - in the event she stays over?"

Lexa's words were venomous and heavy with sarcasm, maybe even mild disgust. Yet instead of being specific as to what those personal effects were, she merely continued to stare at the documentary that she's long forgotten at the first sign of the blonde's appearance.

"Personal effects?" Clarke croaked in *that* tone that did wonderful -vile!- things to her body.

Lexa sighed to herself before pointing towards the general direction of where she last saw the lacy materials on the floor. Clarke followed her direction and, at least, had the right mind to feel mortified at having Lexa see her newest conquest's lingerie. She hurriedly picked them up, stashing them behind her, smiling awkwardly towards Lexa while mumbling a soft ' _sorry_ '.

Clarke made a quick getaway towards her bedroom, no doubt to hide the items her friend left behind. She then entered her en-suite, grabbing a quick shower to remove any grime from last night's debauchery, and making herself more presentable for their movie night. She donned a loose shirt and boy shorts before heading back outside to join the brunette on the couch.

"When did you get in?" Clarke said, starting on a neutral topic.

"About 4:30," came Lexa's reply, short and to the point.

 _Okay Griffin. Woods is pissed. Tread carefully._ Clarke mentally gave herself a pep talk.

"So, what movie are we watching?" Clarke asked as she stood from the couch to start gathering the pizzas, paper plates, napkins, and tea.

"Pitch Perfect 2."

Again, curt reply from the brunette.

The blonde kept mum, heading back to perch herself on the opposite end of the couch before placing the items on the coffee table in front of them. She started to distribute the plates, napkins, and tea between her and Lexa then opened the box of pizza. A frown soon appeared on the blonde's face.

"No pineapple?" she husked, looking to Lexa.

"I wasn't feeling pineapple today and I did try to call you, to see if you wanted to half and half instead," Lexa replied. 

"When did you-"

"Obviously, my call went to voicemail," the brunette quipped under her breath before reaching over to grab two slices of bacon and cheese pizza onto her paper plate.

At the comment though, the blonde dropped her plate on the coffee table and angrily whirled the brunette. 

"What the hell is your problem?!"

Having managed to hide her surprised, she quickly reined in the tight leash holding her anger. She placed her pizza back down onto her plate, placing it on the coffee table, then turning to the blonde, face all neutral.

"Whatever do you mean, Clarke?"

"That!" Clarke pointed a finger to Lexa's stoic face. "What is up with your ass this morning?!"

"Technically, it's afternoon, but who's splitting hairs?"

"I don't give a shit! Morning, afternoon, doesn't fucking matter! What is wrong with you?! Have I done something to piss you off?!"

"Well-"

"You know what? Save it, Lexa," the blonde cut off the brunette harshly, standing up from the couch and grabbing her plate, grumbling to herself, hurling curse words under her breath.

Lexa merely raised a brow at the action, confused as to where the blonde was going. She watched Clarke stomp off towards her room, pizza and tea in tow, before the blonde turned to face the brunette.

"If this is about Niylah-"

"It isn't," Lexa was quick to object.

But she knew it was a lie.

"Bullshit! And you know it!"

"I'm sorry," the words were out from Lexa's lips before she could stop them.

Silence once again blanketed the two women, neither saying anything.

"I don't need an apology," the blonde started. "I want a god damn explanation. And if you can't do that without the antagonistic and **very** sarcastic remarks, then maybe you should wait until you get that stick out of your ass," and with that, the blonde turned to enter her bedroom, the door's silent closing far too loud for the brunette's ears.

Silence has never been so deafening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. How did you like the chapter..? *nervous*
> 
> Also, from now on, replies to comments you amazing readers give me shall be replied to at the end of my stories so keep an eye out for your name :)
> 
> Thank you, again, so much for the love you all are giving me for my first CLEXA story. Till next time!
> 
> As always, feel free to yell at me at: tumblr: the-tlk | twitter: SimplyTLK


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